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‘What are we going to do with him? We can’t send him back, can we? And what am I going to tell Josie? I bet she thinks I’m having an affair or something. You should have seen her face when she spotted Xavier, naked, standing at our front door. It’s such a mess.’

‘One thing at a time, lovey.’ Joe scrunched up his eyes and rubbed his face, thinking. ‘As I see it, we urgently need to decide what to do with whatsisname. Then I’ll go and have a word with Josie, make something up and hope she buys it. Okay?’

Kim nodded. ‘Okay.’

‘But first of all, I’m starving - what’s for dinner?’

‘I haven’t given it a thought,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve been so worried about all this. Sorry.’

‘Takeaway then?’

They went back into the kitchen, just as Xavier began to wake up. His eyes opened and he turned his head from side to side slowly, taking in the kitchen as if reorienting himself.

‘Hello,’ said Joe. ‘I’m Joe. Kim’s been explaining the situation.’

‘Yes,’ said Xavier. ‘I hope you’re not going to-’

‘Send you back?’ Joe interrupted. ‘No, of course not. We need to think about other options. But first, I’m hungry. I guess you are, too. How does fish and chips sound?’

‘I don’t know, how does fish and chips sound?’

Joe started to roll his eyes, but catching Kim’s expression managed to stop in time, converting his laugh into a cough. 

‘Can you eat anything other than the algae you mentioned? Does your digestive system function on solid food?’ said Kim.

‘I don’t know,’ said Xavier, ‘I haven’t tried.’

‘Not to worry, we have a liquidiser somewhere, if all else fails.’ Kim was a pragmatist above all. She picked up her car keys and as Joe started opening cupboard doors, she said ‘Bottom shelf, next to the fridge. I’ll get the fish and chips. Won’t be long.’

Two minutes later Joe heard the old Renault cough and splutter into action as Kim reversed off the drive and, changing gear noisily, roared off in the direction of the High Street to pick up the food.