Striped curtains

‘So, anyway, what do I do now?’

‘I assume you ‘ave looked everywhere for the box?’

‘It’s such a big thing, it’s not easy to overlook, you know. And it was inside a locked garage. How could it just disappear?’

‘Do you think someone could ‘ave taken it? Perhaps a neighbour? Does anyone else ‘ave a key to ze garage?’ In his agitation, Jean-Claude’s French accent became more pronounced.

‘Bob does-’

‘Alors, there you are then - it was probably this Bob person.’

‘I’ll go and ask him.’

‘Good idea,’ said Jean-Claude, in a voice loaded with heavy sarcasm entirely unperceived by Mr Lane. ‘Let me know when you ‘ave found it please.’

* * *

Ten minutes later, the Valkyries flew again.

‘Yes?’ said Jean-Claude, recognising the Lanes’ number. ‘Did you find it?’

‘Oh hello. It’s George Lane here. We ordered a Mark 16 from you recently. We’re in Sevenoaks.’

Jean-Claude sighed, exasperated. ‘Oui, je sais. We spoke just now.’

‘Um, yes. Well, I’ve just been talking to Bob. He says he hasn’t been into my garage. Well, not recently. He only has the key so he can put the bins out when we’re away, you see. I do the same for him, when he goes on holiday. We think it’s good idea to help your neighbours-’

‘I’m sure you do.’ Jean-Claude interrupted the man mid-flow. ‘So ‘e has not taken the box?’

‘No, but here’s the interesting thing. He said there was a gang of people here earlier, sniffing round my garage. Thugs, they were. One of them hit him.’

Jean-Claude was instantly on high alert.

‘A gang? What sort of a gang?’

‘I don’t know. The regular kind, I expect. There were dozens of them. Anyway, once he’d got away from them - he said he inflicted serious damage on several of them, but they were too many to fight off on this own, so he thought discretion was the-’

‘What did zey do?’ Jean-Claude was leaning forward in his seat, clutching his phone to his ear, desperate for more information from this garrulous man.

‘Bob’s not entirely sure. He went back into his house and locked the door. Well, you would, wouldn’t you? And then he tried to peek out through the curtains but they’re the new ones his wife bought last week. Very nice, striped in blue and heliotrope, but rather stiff, so not very easy to pull to one side without being seen. Anyway, long story short, by the time he had thought to go upstairs and look from the back bedroom, they seemed to have gone. Not that you can really see my garage door from his house, it’s the wrong angle.’

‘What time was this? Did ‘e say?’

‘It was about lunchtime. He remembered the time he said, because Penny had made a steak and kidney pie and she was a bit put out that it was getting cold, while he was trying to see what was going on. Anyway, what do you think I should do now?’

‘I don’t see ‘ow it is our problem Mr Lane. You ordered the item. We delivered it in perfect condition. It is not our fault that you have lost it.’

There was some indignant squawking from the other end, but Jean-Claude wasn’t listening. A big gang, hanging round the Lanes’ garage and now Emma was missing. He feared the worst. Osborne and Griffiths were clearly not bluffing.