All caps

Kim’s mobile shrilled suddenly and Joe glanced at the screen. It was not a number he recognised.

‘That will be Jean-Claude,’ said Xavier. ‘Would you like me to talk to him?’

‘No, thanks, I can manage. I’d like to speak to him privately, would you mind going up to the bedroom for a little while?’

As Xavier rose obediently and left the room, Joe lifted the phone and realised this would be a video chat. ‘Hello?’

‘I believe you wanted to speak to me? It’s Jean-Claude.’ The man’s voice had a pleasant French accent and an encouraging warmth to it.

‘Hello. It’s Joe Driver here. Yes, I wanted to talk to you about Xavier.’

‘Aah Xavier. One of our Mark 16s. The product is what you ordered, n’est-ce pas?’

‘Well, that’s the thing. He’s rather more than we were expecting as it happens. My wife ordered this without really thinking things through and now we’re in a bit of a quandary about next steps. Xavier tells us you were fairly sure we wouldn’t return him but more likely, would take him to the authorities. Is that right?”

‘That is correct, oui. Ordinarily, with a product of this type, there would be pas de problème - it would simply be a question of contacting a surgeon and agreeing an installation date but-’ His eyes slid away from the camera and his voice tailed off, as though he was unsure how to continue.

‘-what with him being SENTIENT and capable of INDEPENDENT THOUGHT, it’s not so easy.’ Joe could hear himself speaking sarcastically in capital letters to this chap.

‘Well, yes,’ Jean-Claude admitted. ‘Exactement.’

‘Who else knows there’s a problem with Xavier?’ asked Joe.

‘I haven’t mentioned it to Management, if that’s what you mean. Had I done so, the units would have been deconstructed immediately and there would have been other consequences. The repair technician would likely have lost his job and I suspect moi aussi. I thought it best to say nothing. So, to answer your question, I know, and you know and Xavier and about thirty other units are aware. Some clones may have shed their packaging and evaded delivery. Whether or not the purchasers of the other units have worked out what’s happened depends on whether the clones are still alive and have discussed their situation with the recipients.’

There was silence as Joe digested this information. 

After a pause, Jean-Claude continued. ‘I gave each of them some insight into how to mingle with people, basic language and behavioural tips, but what they really needed was education, and I had no time to offer that. Pas du tout.’

‘How many of them have got in touch with you?’

‘Just two. Xavier and Emma. I’m beginning to think the rest are lost.’ 

Joe registered the sadness in the man’s face.